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I looked through what I posted in 2021-2022.
Forgot the specific reasons, but at that time I seemed to be in a lot of pain. It was painful at Tencent, painful at ByteDance, but starting a business seemed to make it less painful.
Back then, I was truly a struggling idealist, unsure of what lay ahead, only harboring distrust, repression, and alienation towards the world.
At that time, I was fighting against the world, possibly because I lacked enough emotional support (or what could be called "being loved well"), or perhaps because the frustration of unrecognized talent prevented me from creating as I wished, or maybe the cramped rental attic in Shenzhen and Shanghai made me feel physically and mentally oppressed.
I seemed to maintain a bipolar state, sometimes extremely depressed, then anger and a life force akin to existentialism would deny that depression.
Is this a transformation of dragons and snakes? Reading my words from that year, I only deeply feel: I was constantly seeking change.
Never satisfied with the status quo, yet forever trapped in depression—that was probably my teenage years.
My worries belonged to that time, with no sympathy at all; on the contrary, it was a kind of amusing observation.
If I met my younger self now, what would I say?
I would say: You are interesting, keep exploring, the road will unfold for you. If it doesn’t, try again.