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🌍 TRUMP JUST SAID THE WORLD IS DOOMED WITHOUT U.S. CONTROL OF GREENLAND 😂🇺🇸
Bruh… we’ve officially entered side-quest territory.
Trump literally said the planet is “NOT SAFE” unless the U.S. takes total control of Greenland — yes, the giant ice-rock above Canada that has like 12 people and a lot of penguin energy (ok, different pole, but vibes). 🧊
And why?
Because he didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize.
So now he’s like:
“Fine. No prize? No peace.” 😭
Man went from “Make America Great Again” to “Make Greenland Ours” in one patch update.
Next week:
🏝️ “U.S. must seize Fiji for national security.”
🌕 “We need the moon too.”
🐸 “Also, buy $ASTER.” (just guessing)
Markets are confused. Twitter is laughing. Greenland is scared.
Peak 2026 energy.