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My mom learned to use Pinduoduo last month.
First order, nine yuan nine mop.
Second order, six yuan eight dishcloth.
Third order, a box of apples, fifteen yuan.
On the day it arrived, she was as happy as a child.
Last weekend I went home. The balcony was piled up.
Three mops. Twenty dishcloths.
Two boxes of apples, half of which were rotten.
I helped her clean up.
I turned over a delivery slip.
Recipient: Son.
The address was my rental from three years ago.
She didn’t ask me for the new address. She didn’t send it out either.
Just left it on the balcony, stacked with

I work at a bakery. Every day, I taste test the leftover scraps, totaling at least ten loaves of bread.
My coworkers all gained weight. I didn't.
It's not my physique.
Last week, a girl came in. She stood at the counter for five minutes.
Whole wheat toast. Jam. Caramel latte.
I asked: Breakfast?
She nodded.
I said, eating like that, you'll gain three jin (about 3.3 pounds) in a month.
Her hand paused in mid-air.
"Toast is fine. Jam is sugar. Latte is also sugar. Sugar plus sugar, blood sugar goes straight on a roller coaster. Hungry by ten o'clock. When hungry, eat cookies. C

Having dinner with HR sisters. She has been in recruitment for ten years.
I asked, how quickly can you see through someone in an interview.
She put down her chopsticks.
"Thirty seconds."
"No need to ask. Just look at their hands."
How you wipe the table when you come in. Whether your phone is face up or face down. Who you pour water for first. What you say when the waiter serves the dishes.
These things, resumes don’t write. Interviewers don’t ask.
But in thirty seconds, all of it is missed.
She said she interviewed a student from a prestigious university last week. When they e

My best friend. Every summer, she argues with her boyfriend three times. The reason is always the same: the air conditioner temperature.
She’s afraid of heat—twenty degrees. He’s afraid of cold—twenty-six degrees.
They fight over the remote control. In the end, one sleeps on one side. She pulls the blanket over herself and lets the fan blow; he wears long sleeves and wraps himself in a blanket.
This year, they split up.
He moved in with me. On the first night, she set the air conditioner, lay down, then sat back up again.
“He’s never said why he’s afraid of the cold.”
She heard it

I sat at my cousin's house for ten minutes.
The TV was on. The iPad was lit up. Toys, water guns, and broken Lego on the floor.
Her son darted from one to another, each for no more than twenty seconds.
My cousin picked up and scolded, but the kids couldn't hear.
She said: I clean up eight hundred times a day, but he just can't sit still.
I didn't say anything.
Then went to a friend's house.
Half of a puzzle on the coffee table. A dinosaur encyclopedia open on the sofa, halfway through. A few colored pens on the floor.
Her son was lying there coloring. Forty minutes. Never looke

Dinner table. My mom scooped fish onto my plate.
"A girl introduced by Auntie Zhang, have you gone back?"
I ate my rice. She kept talking. I kept eating.
I stood up. Said I was going to throw away the trash.
Squatting in the corridor.
The door next door opened. The girl came out with the trash. Her phone screen was on.
She received a message from her mom:
"Look at Auntie Liu's son's photo."
The two of us squatted there. Neither of us said anything.
Her phone vibrated. My mom called.
She stood up. Picked up the trash bag. Took two steps.
Turned back.
"Are you still squat

At a class reunion, she drank too much and cried, saying she wants a divorce.
We thought her husband was abusive.
She said: He’s a civil servant, earns 7,000, gives me 6,000, and cooks dinner every day when he gets home.
The whole room was silent.
I asked: Divorce from what?
She wiped her tears: He doesn’t understand me. No flowers on our anniversary, no replies to my messages, sleeping back to back, facing away from each other.
I said: What do you want?
She shouted: Romance! Surprises! Heart-fluttering!
A sister beside her butted in: My husband earns 30,000 a month, never come

I also have bruises on my knee.
They're not from kneeling.
They happened last week when I fell while chasing after the bus.
The driver stopped the car and asked me: Miss, are you okay?
I said I'm fine.
He said: Next time, don't chase after it, you won't catch up anyway.
I took a look at my face in the car window.
He's right.

Loan of 20 million just arrived.
The whole network is shouting: Who has U? Cash exchange, transfer on the exchange.
Big shot private message: Send the money first.
I sent it.
He screenshot: Transfer in progress.
Three days later.
He said: The money has been frozen.
I said: That’s my loan.
He said: Yes. I used your money to pay off my debt.
Now we are paying it back together.
This is called decentralized takeover.

My mom asked me: Why has the TV gathered dust?
I said: Turn it on, it's all ads; to watch shows, you need a membership.
She didn't believe it.
I turned on the TV and showed her for ten minutes.
She silently turned it off, picked up her phone, and started browsing.
Now, the only use for that TV is to be a mirror during the New Year.

Suddenly thought while brushing my teeth
Children born in 2026
Might never need to take a driving test

My boss, last year, became obsessed with high-end drinking water.
He spent 38,000 yuan, subscribing to "Mount Fuji Snow Melt Water" for the whole year, with a box flown to the company every week.
He said this water has a perfect pH value, contains silicic acid, and fights aging.
Every day in meetings, he would hold a glass bottle and savor it carefully, also teaching us: health is the foundation of everything.
Last month, that importer was inspected.
The customs report showed that the so-called Mount Fuji water was actually bottled in Linyi, Shandong.
Source? Local tap water, filte

My boss, last year, became obsessed with high-end drinking water.
He spent 38,000 yuan, subscribing to "Mount Fuji Snow Melt Water" for the whole year, with a box flown to the company every week.
He said this water has a perfect pH value, contains silicic acid, and fights aging.
Every day in meetings, he would hold a glass bottle and savor it carefully, also teaching us: health is the foundation of everything.
Last month, that importer was inspected.
The customs report showed that the so-called Mount Fuji water was actually bottled in Linyi, Shandong.
Source? Local tap water, passe

I don't even have the qualification for unlimited refills, my probation period isn't over yet.

My cousin spent eighty thousand yuan last year to send his son to a "fully enclosed aristocratic military school."
The promotion said retired West Point instructors led the team, with military-style management, specifically to toughen up the delicate.
He posts daily photos in the family group of his son standing at attention, moved beyond words.
But last week, that organization was shut down.
The instructors were all real estate agents who had only been trained for three days.
The kids take a bus every day to a park in the neighboring city, do a 200-meter formation drill, then take p

The boss called me into his office: “You can handle the work of three people on your own, and I’m planning to give you a raise.”
My eyes lit up: “How much of a raise?”
“A raise in work.”
I froze for a moment: “Then I might as well quit.”
The boss smiled: “You can quit, but you have to get those three people’s work done before you leave.”
I did the math: based on the current pace, I’d have to work until next year.
So I said, “Then I’ll apply for overtime pay.”
The boss said, “Sure. It starts from the day you quit—finish a full year of work, and then you’ll be paid.”
I walked out of the office,

My buddy works in hotel surveillance.
He told me three survival rules:
First, when bringing a girl to the room, don’t ask “Can I only check in one person?” The moment you ask, the front desk has to say no. If you don’t ask, they’ll check in two people for you—but only charge one.
Second, if you want free breakfast, book without breakfast, then take an empty plate and follow the older guy carrying coffee. Nobody recognizes you. The hotel saves on ticket checks, and you save 28 yuan.
Third, if “Uncle with the cap” comes looking for you after more than a month, don’t panic. The surveillan

My brother, a master’s graduate, is 30 years old, and has been back in China for two years.
He applied to over 400 jobs, and in the end he got into a small consulting firm, earning 15,000 yuan a month.
He hasn’t cried.
Until last month, the company sent him on a business trip to Dali.
With nothing to do at night, he drank with the guesthouse owner.
The owner didn’t finish middle school. In 2015, he spent 280,000 yuan to buy this courtyard; after tinkering and renovating it here and there, now in peak season he earns 30,000 yuan per month, and even in the off-season he can reliably br

“Honey, let’s make a bet. If you can keep it going for ten minutes, I’ll do the housework until New Year.”
I said sure.
She took out an hourglass—the one set for three minutes.
“When this hourglass has finished leaking, you win.”
I said, isn’t this three minutes?
She didn’t say anything, placing the hourglass flat on the table.
The sand stopped flowing.
“Now start the countdown. When does the sand start to flow, and when does it stop.”
I looked at her, then at the hourglass lying flat.
And suddenly I understood.
She never meant for the sand to flow.
I immediately conceded defeat.
She said, “Sm

My buddy, he's in the crypto world, just turned 24 this year.
Met a girl at the nightclub, said she works in Web3 operations, looks like an AI-generated beauty.
He got excited, took her out for a Japanese dinner, spent 8,000 yuan.
After eating, he took out his phone, showed her a QR code for a cold wallet, and said: "There are 80 Bitcoins in here. If you have dinner with me, I'll tell you one word from the seed phrase, how about that?"
The girl smiled and scanned the code.
After seven dinners, he had seven words.
On the eighth day, he logged into the wallet—
Balance: 0.
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